Global Warming Horror Flick Put on Ice

Via Marc Moreno at epw.senate.gov
By P.J. Gladnick
January 8, 2009 - 08:50 ET

How embarrassing is it when you produce a horror movie based on global warming and when the time comes to release it, the planet is experiencing some of the coldest weather in decades? Such is the case with The Thaw starring Val Kilmer. Filmed in Canada last summer, it should be ready for release by now but even though the trailer has been produced, no specific release date has been announced. Perhaps the producers realize how much of a laughingstock this movie would become if a movie based on the premise of global warming were released when their potential audience is freezing. Here is a description of "The Thaw" from Dread Central:

The Thaw will be produced by Anagram Pictures, the same team behind Andrew Currie’s badass debut Fido, with directing duties being handled by Mark A. Lewis. The story is about a group of ecological students who discover that a prehistoric parasite has come back to life after a woolly mammoth is defrosted and their race to stop the bug from infecting the entire world, even as they themselves fall victim to it.

We learned this week that The Thaw is finally getting ready to shoot in mid-June and that Val Kilmer (yes, that Val Kilmer) and Superbad’s Martha McIsaac have both signed on to the film! This brings The Thaw to a whole new level of respectability since you don’t attract that kind of talent with some throwaway script.

”I think ultimately where this story comes from is the idea or, more accurately, the feeling of vulnerability,” Lewis told me during a recent e-mail conversation about the origins of The Thaw. ”The discussion eventually evolved into one about the vulnerability of our species and how we’re about to experience the wrath of Mother Nature as a result of global warming. Remaining faithful to our inspiration [an experience Thaw's co-writer’s girlfriend had with bed bugs], we chose to make Mother Nature’s device the most hideous parasite we could imagine.”

Perhaps Lewis should drop "The Thaw" title and rename it, "Attack of the Mutant Bed Bugs!" More about the hideous wooly mammoth parasite released by global warming flick:

Don’t worry, though, The Thaw won’t be a preachy movie about how we’re facing the End of Days or anything. ”I don’t consider it my job to tell people about how or why we’re f---ing up the world,” Lewis continues. ”The older I get, the more vulnerable I see people are (as individuals and communities). Global warming is a very scary part of our place in time on this revolving rock in the middle of God knows where. I consider it my job to translate, into a story, the emotions (in particular the fear) I’m experiencing around an issue that is extremely interes ting to me. Hopefully people will find the result enjoyable, relatable, and perhaps even cathartic.”

...So far it sounds like we’re in pretty good hands for this one. Nothing like a good monster movie to point out just how weak humans can be in the face of Mother Nature. Keep it here for more updates on The Thaw as the film nears its production start date!

And your humble correspondent would like to point out just how ridiculous film producers trying to promote a PC global warming message can be made to appear in the face of Mother Nature which is why the they seem to be embarrassed to release "The Thaw" in the midst of record low temperatures. However, perhaps "The Thaw" can still be salvaged. Just rename it "The Guffaw" and edit in Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot from Mystery Science Theater 3000 to make snarky comments about the defrosted mammoth and the rest of the movie. Such a move could unfreeze the box office receipts (if "The Thaw" is ever released) and turn this movie into a campy cult classic.
—P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.